Why the heck do I feel so down when I have come away from my Slimming World group with this today?
Am I just an ungrateful sod?! I lost 1.5lbs which gives me a total loss of 11st 0.5lbs – or 154.5lbs…not bad at all really, especially since this time last year I weighed 41st 9.5lbs and I now weigh 32st 5lbs. If you’d have offered me an 11st loss at that point in time, I would have bitten your hand off…probably because I was still biting into KFC and the extra meat would have been nice!
But seriously, I was really struggling last year – struggling to survive at that weight, struggling to even get to group if I am being honest; it was such an effort, I used to sit there puffing and panting and looking like I needed a paramedic. I messed around initially and lost 2st in the first six months…it could have been so much more, so I am thankful for how far I have come, and I do realise that this is down to my hard work and effort – along with the support I get from others.
However, I still can’t help but get frustrated at losing 1.5lbs. I need to see good progress in order to keep me on track. This week I have ensured I have had at least 1/3 superfree, I have had plenty of water, I have not hit my weekly syn limit, I have been exercising – but nothing too hardcore. Other than me going a bit mental, albeit unintentionally, with syns last weigh in day, I cannot think why my loss was low this week. Perhaps my syns need to be spread over the week, rather than just blitzed? I have noticed before that this has made a difference on a few occasions. I don’t want to open a floodgate here – and I don’t want anyone trying to persuade me to come off the Slimming World plan – but if regular readers do spot anything in my food pics that they think might need tweaking, please let me know.
One thing my consultant mentioned is that she thinks I am not having enough in the mornings. Due to the syn issue of last Tuesday, I have been saving my healthy extras to enjoy in the evening rather than having syns. This means that my breakfast has been missing a HiFi Light or an Aldi Benefit bar…so I am going to switch back to that this week and see if it makes a difference. I am also going to see if I can sneak in a couple of Scan Bran slices each day to give the internals a bit of a jiggle!
Anyway, I am going to stop whining now! I do feel that at my weight, my losses should be bigger than everyone else’s…or at least bigger than those who perhaps haven’t got the weight of a baby elephant to lose! But then I remind myself that everyone works bloody hard – in most cases – for their weight losses, so they are entitled to it too. So, moaning over…I promise…for today anyway!
Group was interesting as ever. I learnt the computer check in thing today…as the usual person might not be there next week – and it all seemed quite straightforward. It was quite funny though, as nearly everyone said, “oh, have you been promoted?”, or some version of that question…it showed me that we really are creatures of habit and notice any changes very quickly. In fact, my consultant changed the layout of the room a few weeks ago and people still can’t cope with queuing in the opposite direction! It was quite nice getting to say hello to everyone…I think I might try and oust the usual person, but as it’s my consultants hubby, it might be a bit difficult!
We gathered a crowd of little people today, as we had taken the dog to group with us and didn’t want to leave her in the car as it was cold. So she was fussed over and fed biscuits by children…and had a baby trying desperately to wriggle out of her pushchair to get to see her. I was proud of my little dog, as she isn’t often around children but she behaved impeccably and showed that even ‘scary’ Staffordshire Bull Terriers can do well behaved! I jest when I say ‘scary’…I have owned three Staffs, and known many, who have all been fantastic with children and adults alike…it’s generally the tit at the other end of the lead which causes the problems!
We had the usual fun in group – and I got a lovely hug off a wonderful lady who has been having a tough time of it recently. She sent me a message on Facebook to say that her head just wasn’t in Slimming World mode and so I sent her a message back telling her a few home truths about how brilliant she was, and that she was an integral part of our group. I didn’t hear back from her on Facebook, but was pleased to get the hug and she said it did the trick!
The pizza lady struck again…this time it was over hotcross buns. She couldn’t believe that there are approximately 11 syns in the average hotcross bun…and wondered if that included butter – it doesn’t for those of you that have a puzzled look on your faces right now! The consultant then reminded her – again, this is a weekly occurrence – that anything bread, pastry, dough and flour based is likely to be high in syns. Pizza lady went on to say, “so those scones I made this week would have been quite high in syns then?” The answer was a resounding “yes”! I then asked her if she actually checked the syns before she cooked, or ate, these sorts of things…unfortunately, the answer to this was a resounding “no”. So when I said in last weeks post that I wondered what on earth she ate, I think the answer to that is pretty much anything she fancies! Mental – why bother paying £4.95 each week to go to Slimming World if you aren’t going to follow the plan? I know we all have off days, and I know we all approach it slightly differently at times, but ultimately we are there to take advantage of the plan they have on offer and to lose weight – not just for the coffee and a chat with friends! If you are not going to follow the fundamental elements that make Slimming World work, why bother?
We had some good weight losses this week and our little group – we have about thirty odd members…sorry, thirty-ish members…I shouldn’t call them odd – are doing quite well in a regional weight loss challenge / league table I believe. I really do love seeing the smile on the faces of my fellow members when they have a loss; it is one of the reasons I love staying to group. Unbeknownst to me, my other half secretly filmed me getting my 11st award this week and the smile on my face was nice to see. It was also good to see how much smaller my face looked compared to a pic I saw the other day of the old me…although I do still have chipmunk cheeks and my Harold Bishop chin has shrunk, but hasn’t really gone anywhere yet!
Before I move onto the usuals, I thought I’d give myself a kick up the backside and remind myself just how far I have come…so I took a little screenshot of my awards from the Slimming World website. If that doesn’t put a smile on my face, the last resort will be a visit to Ann Summers!
The usuals then…
It was a weird night really. I had been having some chest pains and am usually very laid back about aches and pains…it comes with the territory at this weight, but these buggers kept coming and going so I decided to google ‘chest pains’, which probably wasn’t the best plan! Anyway, after scaring myself, I checked out NHS direct and decided that I probably wasn’t experiencing a heart attack…and in all likelihood have probably injured myself with my bloody Boxercise antics. I also took an Asprin – well, they thin your blood, right?! So I decided that this was a sensible course of action…thinner blood being easier to pump to the heart! I will keep an eye on myself and speak with the doctor at some point soon…and have placed a call to them anyway as I think it might be these hormone tablets. They warn you about the risk of blood clots and stuff…so I thought the Asprin would help with this too…as I have been having some sharp pains in my left calf muscle, and of course my mind decided that it was a clot that was going to travel through my body and kill me. I watch far too much TV – I mean medical stuff…not that the sitting down will do it, although that would actually do it! Anyway, so I am checking out my meds, but don’t want to come off the tablets again as the bleeding and cramps will return; I guess this is better than the potential alternative though. And how peed off would I be, having lost this weight and made changes for the better, if I then went and ended up having a chat with the ‘Big Man’ upstairs?! Not good at all. So despite my flippancy, I will check everything out.
So this was why it was a weird night…I was kind of afraid to go to sleep! I had, many months ago, warned my other half that if anything happened to me and he had to call an ambulance that he must let them know I was a big fat fatty and they must send a fat ambulance. I read somewhere that they could only take up to 35st…so last night I told him that a normal one would be okay now…oh, the perks of losing weight!
Anyway, I did get a bit of sleep, but had a bad stomach for some reason and woke up early. So I grabbed a shower and beautified myself for group – that means I brushed my hair for a change – and got dressed. My other half had woken when I got up and then proceeded to moan about how early it was…at least he managed to get some work in before we left to see the horses! It was a much brighter day, which is nice for the horses, but this means melting snow which means mud, mud and more mud. In fact, my other half nearly came face to face with this mud…as he went flying over the electric fencing whilst carrying a bale of hay into the field, but luckily managed to stay upright whilst I held my breath! It would have been so funny, but so cruel, if he had landed in it…I wouldn’t have been able to help as I would have been doubled over with laughter!
Once they were sorted we headed to group and then to Asda after that. I have been better prepared this week, and decided on a Green day so I can enjoy some cheese toasties and syn free chips guilt free…not making the same mistake as last week. It was then home for a relaxing afternoon in preparation for babysitting duties over the next couple of days.
Breakfast: Banana.
Lunch: Stir fry veggies with Uncle Bens Golden Veg rice (2.5 syns).
Dinner: Quorn fillets, ratatouille (1.5 syns) and syn free chips.
Snacks: French fries x 6 (24 syns), MaltEasters bunny (8 syns) and two cheese pizza toasties (2 x HEA and 2 x HEB).
This bunny was not harmed by the Weight Loss Bitch…but her other half destroyed him!!
Today’s food was a bit much for me if I am being honest! I had decided on a Green day as I find them quite filling…so thought this could be a good alternative to the massive binge days I used to have after group. So lunch was lovely – the rice has a couple of syns due to the oil they use to stop the rice from sticking – and I chopped up a big onion and a load of mushrooms, and added this to a box of stir fry veggies from Asda, and the other half and I shared it…really tasty. I also wanted my crisps, but decided to choose the lowest syn ones. Unfortunately, all of the talk in group surrounded Easter treats, so my other half thought he would treat me to the bunny…we had a discussion that this wasn’t the sort of treat I wanted anymore, and he won’t do it again! I had a discussion with myself – in my head – about whether to have him (the bunny is a boy!) today, or another day, or to give him away. It was a hard discussion – the old and still very powerful me, versus the new growing in confidence me. I am pleased to report that the new me won, and bunny was thrown across the room to meet his maker…my chocolate monster other half! So that was 8 syns saved – result…but I do adore those bloody bunnies! Dinner was designed to use up more freezer and cupboard food, so it was Quorn fillets, ratatouille – which is all superfree and only has syns in due to the oil they use to cook it – but I added some peas and sweetcorn, and syn free chips. I then followed it up with a couple of cheese pizza toasties later on for supper. So all in all, 28 syns instead of 36, and much better than last weeks 77!
Exercise: 15 minutes Boxercise, 15 minutes Dancercise, 15 minutes Sit-ups – 45 minutes in total.
I just took the exercise slowly this morning – after my chest pains – and seem to be okay. I will be introducing the BodyPump tomorrow hopefully, and the treadmill at some point this week…eek! So my usual rest day has been relieved of its duties and is becoming a day for gentle activity – if you can call boxing gentle. I have also decided to just move more generally during the day too…my arse used to be welded to the sofa, so I am now trying to make an effort to get up during ad breaks on TV, or every twenty minutes to just potter about…I think this will help with my overall stamina too.
Thank you for reading guys – and thank you for sticking with me on this long journey!
Weight Loss Bitch xxx
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